Discouragement and Joy

Christmas was good.
God is good.
Lils was adorable.
Carl got a new sounders sweatshirt and I got a new bible and some books.


I was in church today and the worship was good. Like joyful good!
It may have been the coffee in me.. BUT I wanted to clap and shout!
The Lord has brought us through another year! Woot!
Yet.. I found myself holding back .. wether it was the peer pressure around me not to embarrass anyone or the "what will people think" voice coming up within me. (I hate that voice..steals us of such joy)
I looked around.. maybe people had joy in their hearts or maybe I am just way out there.. ( that is probably the answer) but we were singing songs of praise and yet everyone around me was somber.. and no one was smiling or anything...
Where has the Joy gone in church..
Where has the Joy gone in the Lord and what he has done for us.
I get it.. Im usually the down one.. I usually am the first one to be negative. It just got to me today.. SMILE! BE JOYFUL! SING LOUD! CLAP YOUR HANDS!
For the Lord is good.
Thank goodness the rocks will sing...

So with the new year carl and I are trying Fat Sick and Nearly Dead.. I KNOW yet another diet or sue trying to get healthy..
EH well ... At least we are doing something. Or trying. Or eh. Whenever I talk to anyone about this ... Its hard. Cause I get discouraged by comments people make.
I am just screaming in my head " DO YOU .. wait... CAN YOU say anything positive at all?"
So I am debating wether to blog about our experience ... I want to :) I guess I have to take my own advice and just find the JOY in things even when some are negative.

To be blatantly honest its been hard lately for me.
To get out of the house and do things.
Not a lot of mommy friends and not a lot of friends that want to hangout with babies.
Its kind of discouraging sometimes.
Everyone has their own lives and such.. I get that. Just wish Carl and I got out more to do things. We are just so tired at the end of the day. Or everyone has already made plans.
Maybe that can be a new year goal. To get out and socialize .. and with positive people .. people who are up lifting. Then maybe it will rub off on me ;)

Carl is watching the game today .
I am going to go to urraco and catch up on my web bible study and make some goals for the new year.
Maybe Ill blog about our goals.
Maybe I shouldn't... could be depressing if not achieved hahaha
AH! there is the negativeness that is drowning my life. MUST stay positive.

To Cruise or not to Cruise?

SO Carl and I really are getting the Vacation Itch.. and before we have more kids we really want another get away..

I have always felt that couples should really do this.. It does not NEED to be a cruise just a get away.. a get away for just you two.

SO important to me.
Our first year of marriage was rough. Not rough as in bad .. but rough as in .. Married. pregnant. One budget.Buying house. baby.
AND were still married! woot woot!
A lot of those things can really cause stress on a marriage and yet by the Grace of God Carl and I have gotten through.. and wanting to get through more together!

So we are thinking this next winter when lils is about 2 years well close to that we will go on a three day cruise down by mexico.
Im worried about leaving lils with someone.. But carl's sister is wonderful with her and so is Hanna Tweed.. so we were thinking of just having them house sit and take care of lils. :)
This is SO up in the air I am just really excited cause it was Carl's idea!
SERIOUSLY!
yay! so my choice is obviously to Cruise! but we shall see if all the ducks line up! :) Hoping!

Santa and Baking and Decorating

8 days till Christmas!
WOOT
Also so much to do! I still have some wrapping a couple gifts to get.. sheesh
I am never ever this behind in Christmas to do stuff!
Anyhoo we took lils to see santa.. she did wonderful with him! no crying and loved it!
I also did some baking cause I have not made christmas cookies this year.. and I still have not made fudge..
Just try and guess what my new years resolution shall be haha
I also finally finished my advent calendar so I am excited to show you!

Thoughts

This is the idea I was talking about! Cute huh? I still have presents to wrap.. and I still have Carl to shop for! Sheesh and its just weeks away.

Quite frankly a lot is on my mind. Im sure you have all heard about the shooting.. I haven't cried over news since 9/11

I was heartbroken.

It made me think about wether I wanted my kids in public school. (naturally)
Some really went off the deep end when I mentioned that.
BUT of course since I have been contemplating homeschooling or at least knew it was an option...That is going to go through my head.. ( which is mostly no to it )

People said I was living in fear and I also am going to shelter my kids. ( made me angry cause that is so far from who I am..from who carl is )

Carl hated homeschooling.
He felt he was sheltered and did not grow up with good social skills.
I agree. There are tons of homeschooling people who shelter the crap out of their kids... this is not what I want and would not be the reason for me homeschooling... But I do get why they are fearful and why some for that reason do homeschool. Also tons do it for the right reasons and not cause of fear.

But today I am sure a lot of homeschooling families were thankful for their choice. (sadly)

The thing that is annoying was that it was not what I wanted to talk about (at all) and yet I found myself talking about it.
That is not the issue . People were so concerned about my choices and my decisions for my child and schooling..
I was thinking why are you not grieving but addressing my family choices?
OKAY I AM DONE
Just sad.
Today is sad.
Yes I am scared.
I know Because of Jesus I do not need to fear. But Its hard not too.
I love Corrie Ten Boom.
I know random I just do .

Christmas time.. salvation and sacrifice

John Piper reads "The Inn-Keeper"

Click on the link for a video that is worth the 11minutes :) so good. Really brings the meaning of Christmas to heart.

Life as I know it!

So Wednesday nights I have a moms group I go to. I have actually stuck with it! I really enjoy the ladies and the reading and quite frankly the brownies. We are wrapping up our first book :) The mission of Motherhood. I really liked the book, the author was a bit intense at points and she seemed a little OCD but I really enjoyed it.. Guess what I stuck with it! That and MOPS! which may I say I am SO thankful for! Met some really cool ladies there! BUT I did not stick with W.E.B. very well.. My goal is to catch up on the bible study and get back involved cause I also really enjoyed the ladies there! 

 Here is a pic of what my Wednesday nights usually look like :) The next book we are starting is a Beth Moore book so I am excited to re experience her writing ..

And of course .. I was going through pictures and I came across this one.. I am in love with this photo. I could not be more thankful for such a great husband and dad for lilly. she was 3 months here .. and is about 8 and a half months now. I can not believe how much she has grown..

I love Christmas and wrapping is one of my fav things to do .. I know! crazy.. but this is what I am doing this year Except it does not show the photos I am putting on each one :) I am putting a photos of each person on their own present. :) thought it was a cute idea I found from Pinterest! and it kind of suits carl and I. ANyhoo! Merry Christmas!

Better late than never

SO I am just not getting around to making my advent calendar! A few post back I posted what it is going to look like here is my first step!

And the little items I am using that will be added to the chicken wire. The gingerbread man will be the item lils moves each day :)

AND we got lils some new leg warmers! here is one of the pairs .. I just adore her in these!

Photography becoming a real love

Today I shot this couple .
From about 10-1:30 I learned about my camera and light room 4. I was a bit overwhelmed. Not in a bad way..just a I want to photograph a lot of people and edit the crap out of the pictures :) BUT I do not really have time laying around waiting for me to use up. SO overwhelmed in the sense that I just learned a whole bunch that I want to put to use!

I can tell my idea or .. vision for how I want my photography to be is forming..
I am tempted just to do black and white.. my love for black and white photography is endless. But now with this new editing program I can finding a love for color photography also!

Anyhoo . I really want to learn more and spend endless hours on this new hobby of mine.. So when I can I am going to find as much time as possible :)