Sunday, December 30, 2012

Discouragement and Joy

Christmas was good.
God is good.
Lils was adorable.
Carl got a new sounders sweatshirt and I got a new bible and some books.


I was in church today and the worship was good. Like joyful good!
It may have been the coffee in me.. BUT I wanted to clap and shout!
The Lord has brought us through another year! Woot!
Yet.. I found myself holding back .. wether it was the peer pressure around me not to embarrass anyone or the "what will people think" voice coming up within me. (I hate that voice..steals us of such joy)
I looked around.. maybe people had joy in their hearts or maybe I am just way out there.. ( that is probably the answer) but we were singing songs of praise and yet everyone around me was somber.. and no one was smiling or anything...
Where has the Joy gone in church..
Where has the Joy gone in the Lord and what he has done for us.
I get it.. Im usually the down one.. I usually am the first one to be negative. It just got to me today.. SMILE! BE JOYFUL! SING LOUD! CLAP YOUR HANDS!
For the Lord is good.
Thank goodness the rocks will sing...

So with the new year carl and I are trying Fat Sick and Nearly Dead.. I KNOW yet another diet or sue trying to get healthy..
EH well ... At least we are doing something. Or trying. Or eh. Whenever I talk to anyone about this ... Its hard. Cause I get discouraged by comments people make.
I am just screaming in my head " DO YOU .. wait... CAN YOU say anything positive at all?"
So I am debating wether to blog about our experience ... I want to :) I guess I have to take my own advice and just find the JOY in things even when some are negative.

To be blatantly honest its been hard lately for me.
To get out of the house and do things.
Not a lot of mommy friends and not a lot of friends that want to hangout with babies.
Its kind of discouraging sometimes.
Everyone has their own lives and such.. I get that. Just wish Carl and I got out more to do things. We are just so tired at the end of the day. Or everyone has already made plans.
Maybe that can be a new year goal. To get out and socialize .. and with positive people .. people who are up lifting. Then maybe it will rub off on me ;)

Carl is watching the game today .
I am going to go to urraco and catch up on my web bible study and make some goals for the new year.
Maybe Ill blog about our goals.
Maybe I shouldn't... could be depressing if not achieved hahaha
AH! there is the negativeness that is drowning my life. MUST stay positive.

1 comment:

  1. Thanks for being open and honest, Susan! I appreciate seeing your heart.

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